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Learn about yourself & improve your communication - ComColors -

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The 6 types of conditional behavior

Individuals are like icebergs, with a visible part, and a less visible part that represents the subconscious. In this subconscious, there are several elements, including beliefs. We are going to look at the beliefs that we hold about ourselves. Everyone has beliefs about themselves, others and life in general. 

Have a look at this image. It illustrates that subconscious beliefs generate visible behaviours. These behaviours reinforce what we believe about ourselves and the world around us. 

We have both positive and negative beliefs. It is most interesting to look at negative beliefs about ourselves. Many of us hold the following general belief:

There is something wrong with me, or I am not good enough the way I am!

These negative beliefs generate fears, doubts and worries. To try to calm these doubts and worries, we act in ways that, according to us, provide the right conditions for returning to a normal, fulfilling and positive state. This is what we call conditional behaviour. This behaviour proves to us that our negative belief is true, and that it really is true that I am not good enough the way I am.

Important: What we need to understand here is that when we exhibit our conditional behaviour, we are no longer living in reality. Rather, we are caught up in an internal movie that has nothing at all to do with reality.

The way to lower the pressure that pushed us into our conditional behaviour is to work on proof. Try to use proof to question the belief.  This is easier said than done, because the stress cycle is very powerful, completely subconscious and self-reinforcing. If you do manage to demonstrate that there is no proof for the negative belief, the subconscious is still not going to take this proof into account, because it wasn’t the result of a deliberate action. It is only by making small, repeated changes over time that you will manage to permanently decrease the pressure.

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